Feline Calamity
by Sierra's Darkness
Summary: [Thief King Bakura x Malik.] 'A kitten, of course.' Malik held up the irregularly spotted black and white kitten with both hands, grinning broadly as Bakura eyed it, expression flat.


**Author's note:** ZOMG, I live! -flail- Who would have guessed? ;x Certainly not me, that's for sure. XD;

So, I'll cut to the chase: I've been trying all kinds of new writing styles and such; this was just a bit of a break from it. XD; It was for 100 themes at LJ - the theme was **pet**.

Alright, let me make two things painstakingly clear: this is **Thief King Bakura**, not Yami no Bakura, as some people seem to believe; also, it's a **one-shot**. That means no continuation. -sweatdrop-

**Pairing:** Thief King Bakura x Malik Ishtar.

**Disclaimer:** No own Yuugiou.

**Rating:** PG-13.

**-----**

**Feline Calamity**

"… A what?"

"A kitten, of course." Malik held up the irregularly spotted black and white kitten with both hands, grinning broadly as Bakura eyed it, expression flat. "What else?"

Bakura's unamused gaze shifted from the purring kitten in Malik's arms to the blonde Egyptian himself, who was still grinning like a moron. What was the _matter_ with the kid? A kitten was like an infant – it needed to be washed, fed, watered, and given attention, not to mention: above all, it smelled. In Bakura's book, it was a curse from the seven hells themselves; he _loathed_ looking after anything that made animal-like noises – unless that something was Malik, of course.

"Very funny," Bakura muttered, sarcasm colouring his words, though Malik's grin didn't falter one bit – he only stroked the kitten's head, cooing to it and flat-out ignoring Bakura. "I'm talking to you, Malik."

"Point being?" Malik continued to coo to the kitten, which happily rubbed its face against Malik's neck and purred, quite content to stay in Malik's arms.

Bakura reached over, pulling the kitten out of Malik's arms, despite Malik's protests. "It's an animal, Malik. Do you realize what a _responsibility_ it is?" he asked, eyeing the kitten warily as he held it at an arms length, well away from his body and so his face was out of reach of the thing's claws.

Malik pouted, unable to reach the kitten whatsoever; his hands resting were lightly on his slender hips as he tapped a foot impatiently, wearing a look that promised severe pain if he didn't get his way. "Give him back, you bastard," he insisted, purposely ignoring Bakura's seemingly rhetorical question. "You're making a fuss over nothing."

"Am I?" Bakura ground out, irritated. Malik was often stubborn like this; Bakura found it hard to reason with him, let alone find some way to make them _both_ 'happy'. He continued to keep a suspicious eye on the kitten, which was blinking at him and squirming in his hands a bit.

Malik huffed, seeing the kitten's discomfort. "You're hurting him!" he exclaimed, stepping forward and snatching the kitten off Bakura, who blinked as the animal was suddenly gone from his grasp.

He turned to face Malik, an eye twitching as he stated, "You're not keeping that… creature."

Malik's features contorted into a cloudy expression, his lavender eyes narrowing as he shifted the kitten in his arms – though gently, considering his anger – and turned to the stairs, storming up them. "You're sleeping on the couch, tonight," was the only response Bakura got; a growl was tossed over Malik's shoulder as he stalked up the stairs and toward the room he and Bakura _usually_ shared, slamming the door behind him.

Bakura scowled.

Now, he was stuck sleeping on the couch, while the little _kitten_ would get his place in the bed – next to Malik.

The defeated Bakura stomped over to the black, leather couch, flopping down onto his back with a low growl of irritation. _'That little kitten will pay – dearly, at that,' _he decided, folding his arms behind his head with a slight scowl. It wasn't the first time he'd had to sleep on the couch – it probably wouldn't be the last, knowing Malik – but Bakura would have the last word, that was for sure.

--

Upstairs, Malik was lying on his stomach, stroking the kitten's back lightly; both were comfortable on the cushiony bed. Malik almost felt sorry for Bakura – he would have to sleep downstairs, in the cold, while Malik and the kitten got to sleep share the warmth of the bed.

'_Nah,'_ Malik thought to himself, grinning as he poked the kitten's forehead, receiving an objecting mewl from the small ball of fluff in answer. _'Bakura deserves it.'_ Malik hummed to himself as he tickled the kitten, watching as it rolled onto its back, purring and waving its paws in the air, as if begging to be petted. Another grin tugged at Malik's lips as he prodded the kitten's stomach, the little fluffball's paws clawing at his finger blindly.

"You're adorable," he said aloud, amused; the kitten's bright eyes looked up at him curiously, as though taking in his features. As Malik stroked beneath the kitten's chin, it disentangled one paw from the other around Malik's finger and reached up, pawing at Malik's jaw inquisitively.

Malik chuckled, reaching to pull the kitten against his chest, before he pulled the blankets on the bed back, slipping beneath them and setting the kitten down beside him on the pillow. The small fluffball clawed at the pillow for a while, circling and shifting its weight, as though searching for a comfortable position. When it began to tire itself, it finally sank down, and was asleep within moments, purring softly in its sleep.

All the time, Malik had been watching, intrigued by the young animal's behaviour: he'd never had an animal before, so watching such an adorable little fluffball like that interested him quite a bit – Isis had never liked animals.

Stifling a yawn, Malik stretched languidly beneath the quilt, settling his head next to the kitten curled up tightly on the pillow. Wrapped warmly inside his blankets, Malik fell into a deep sleep alongside the kitten he'd found sitting outside their front door, unaware of Bakura's tossing and turning downstairs.

--

Streaks of sunlight streamed through the window, rousing Malik Ishtar from a very peaceful sleep, resulting in a few grumbled Arabic curses under the Egyptian's breath. A hand snuck out from beneath the warmth of the blankets to search for the glass of water that was normally situated on Malik's bedside table – but when his hand met the cool plastic of the glass, he blinked, feeling something was off.

The kitten.

Malik shot up from beneath the covers, blinking a few times and rubbing an eye to clear his vision. Then, he glanced down at the pillow where the young kitten had been the night before – just before Malik had slept, right? He blinked, confused. Perhaps, the kitten had gotten up to go to the bathroom, or to look for some meat to eat?

Malik stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment, ignoring his dishevelled blonde hair and the smudged kohl beneath his eyes.

The kitten wasn't like Bakura – it wasn't toilet-trained, nor was it accustomed to meat at such a young age.

Malik stared hard at his reflection for a moment longer, lost in his thoughts; where could the kitten have possibly gone? It was tiny, and lacking any sort of way to get out the…

Malik's eyes darted to the door. _'**Bakura**_._'_

--

Downstairs, Bakura's narrowed eyes were focused on the once again blinking kitten. He wasn't fooled by the little façade – he knew the kitten was the epitome of all evil; it had stolen his place on the bed!

"Evil little fiend," he muttered, poking it between the eyes; a small mewl the response. "You got me in trouble with the woman."

The kitten blinked at Bakura again.

Bakura rolled his eyes, eyeing the black and white ball of fluff. "That's right; pretend you don't know what I'm talking about – Malik will see how malicious you really are."

The kitten pawed at Bakura's face with a small foot, its brown eyes curious as it continued to touch his face enquiringly, until Bakura snorted in its face and drew away. The kitten's tail flicked about as it lost interest, padding over the couch and hopping over Bakura's arm to where the remote control was.

Oh, no. No one messed with the remote.

Bakura's eyes alternated between the feline and the remote, until he abruptly reached for it – unfortunately, the kitten was too quick for Bakura; its paw had landed on the electric device, and it had succeeded in turning the television on.

A rather explicit form of program flickered onto the television; the sound was turned up so loud that the noises emitted from the television reverberated off the walls.

It was at that moment that a certain, perplexed blonde Egyptian came hurrying down the stairs, annoyance written all over his features. "Baku—"

Malik blinked, pausing in his irritated accusal, as he heard peculiar noises coming from the television. His eyes were drawn to the screen, and they widened considerably when the content of the show was revealed to them.

"_Porn_?" Malik demanded sharply; he purposely made his voice loud enough so it would barely be heard over the inappropriate sounds.

Bakura stared at Malik for a moment or two, unable to move; his boyfriend had** definitely** walked in at the wrong time – Bakura didn't even _watch_ the vile stuff, let alone own any of those moronic videos. It was the idiotic subscriber channels; it wasn't as though Bakura _needed_ to watch that variety of material – he had Malik, after all; the boy was a walking sex addict.

"You have a bad habit of walking in at the worst times – did you know that?" Bakura asked, voice monotone, so Malik wouldn't think he was bothered by the blonde's 'discovery' in the slightest.

He wasn't, of course; he had nothing to do with the thing on the television.

Malik had already taken on the stance he habitually adopted when they were about to argue; a hand was resting on a canted hip, violet eyes narrowed in defiance. "I noticed," he responded dryly. "Care to explain what… _that_ is?"

Bakura blinked, attempting to retain his innocence (or lack thereof) in this particular situation. "What's what?"

A tanned finger pointed in the general direction of the disturbing noise, accompanied by a flat snort.

"… That. I have no clue," was Bakura's honest-to-the-gods answer.

Malik's eyes came across the kitten, and he immediately dashed to the couch, picking the feline up and cradling it in his arms. "Poor thing," he murmured, attempting to coax a response out of the kitten, which seemed quite frightened – though, to Bakura, he just looked content in Malik's arms.

Envy pooled in the pit of the silver-haired thief's stomach. That was _his_ Malik that little brat was being held by – _his_ Malik that was fussing over its well-being, and not Bakura's own.

A loud growl startled the kitten, which flailed for a moment, before leaping out of Malik's arms and onto the couch. It landed on the remote and flicked the television off as it did so, then bounding off into the kitchen quickly.

Malik blinked after the kitten, running a hand through his flaxen-blonde hair and turning to face Bakura. "Who threw the catnip?" he wondered, baffled.

Bakura shrugged, secretly glad the little ordeal was over – his hard-on was quite evident, and the only way to be rid of it was associated with Malik. He moved closer to Malik, before moving swiftly and deftly pinning the other to the couch, earning himself a surprised yelp from his unsuspecting Egyptian victim.

"Bakura, what are you—" Malik started to demand; then a sharp bite to his throat silenced him and his protest was traded for a small moan.

Soon enough, the house was echoing with Malik's cries, similar to the ones that had been on the television not five minutes earlier.

--

Several hours, bottles of lube and bruising kisses later, Malik was sleeping soundly in Bakura's arms, stretched out across the other Egyptian's warm chest. Bakura's arms were wrapped possessively around Malik's lithe body, his eyes closed as he drifted in and out of consciousness, virtually on the edge of sleep, when…

"Mew?"

Bakura blinked slowly, his gaze meeting with that of the kitten's. "… The hell," he muttered, noticing the kitten's paws on either cheek - and before he knew it, a wet lick was planted on his nose. Bakura made a disgruntled sound, scrunching his nose up, though he didn't move, reluctant to disturb Malik's peaceful sleep.

"Damn brat," he grumbled, eyeing the kitten warily, finally getting a close-up look at it. Then, a slow grin spread across his features as he realized the advantages of having a kitten to manipulate Malik with. "… Damn cute brat," he considered, unwinding an arm from around Malik and pulling the kitten onto his chest, next to the deeply sleeping Egyptian.

"You'd better get me laid, or I swear, I'll send you to Egypt as crocodile chow."

**-----**

**A/N:** Yep, done here. :D Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated; have an awesome rest of the week. -bounce-


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